Инна Иванова Saturday, June 27, 2020

Who is good here or who is happy here?

Who is good here or who is happy here?

I really love the "simple" Tibetan saying: "The hardest thing in life is to learn three things — to think, to endure and to wait." Many years ago, I heard these words and rejoiced: "Oh, how easy! Yes, we all know how to do it." And only over time it became obvious that you learn to endure when the pain does not end, to wait for a loved one to pass away, to think when you stop putting labels on yourself and others.

...One very beautiful girl from childhood was concerned about making everyone like her. At the age of 5, kind parents began to call her "Princess" and put on a crown when guests came to the house. How everyone was touched by the angelic child! After 15 years, a strange metamorphosis occurred: a girl who could choose any applicant began sleeping with all the boys in a row.

What has changed? Did she consider herself a princess? Definitely. But there was a fear in her that someone would not notice it and a confidence that she would hook anyone. But — they didn't call back. Or they called when they wanted to spend the evening in bed. And they were no longer invited to the cinema, not to a cafe, not to the park, but straight home. And she was walking. And waited for the call again.

After ten years of suffering from misunderstanding why all men are such bastards, she took off her "mom's crown" and threw it away forever. And she began to learn to endure and wait. To endure loneliness, to wait for love. Then that too passed...

A short digression: my favorite scientists conducted a study on how and when we begin to think about our own attractiveness. It turns out that no child knows that he is beautiful until they start telling him about it. And he determines the degree of his importance in society by how many children approached him and offered friendship. He labels himself "I am the best" only after comparing the number of friendship offers received by him and other children. Then the scientists did the same experiment with adults. And — it all happened again. Adults... Such adults... They're so unhappy... They're so sad... Such adults in the midst of everyday life begin to proceed from the concepts of: "I am good", "He is bad", without even noticing the speed of pronouncing these phrases ...

Fact: we ourselves do not know whether we are beautiful or not, whether we are good or not, whether we are kind to others or not, until we begin to compare. And in order not to disturb the peace of our self-esteem, year by year we are increasingly comparing in our favor. That's how people breed "little bastards" around themselves, based on kindergarten experience. In my opinion, it's high time for many to spank this moody child inside and this pompous idiot outside.

Let's get back to the story. The woman lived alone for a long time. I only met with men on business. And one of those things was getting pregnant. The doctors said, "It's now or never." I went to Europe and found a healthy large specimen. She gave birth to a son at the age of 42. For the next five years, I was busy with myself, the child, and work. And she didn't become a bitch. And not a single tantrum about dissatisfaction with fate.

Now all men were wonderful to her, but she had already learned to understand that these were not her men. She looked at them carefully, made friends, flirted, but did not go to bed with anyone else. Sometimes, of course, her hormones went off the scale, but she drove home again and again — to think, to endure and to wait. Many times she was on the verge of despair that God had forgotten about her. Many times she cried at night. But a few days passed, and she tried to "be herself" again.

She listened to psychological lectures about choosing the right man for a stable life. She listened to her friends' stories that there is no such thing as true love, and men are needed only to provide for needs. She listened to the opinions of long-married couples that a family is a business project in which everything needs to be negotiated with a partner... She listened, but did not believe. I didn't want to believe it. After all, she saw that all these stupid things were being said to her by unhappy people. Their lips are smiling and their eyes are crying. But she didn't want to cry anymore, either alone or in the company of unhappy people.

And she has already consciously begun to feel loneliness as a blessing, as the highest happiness, when your life belongs only to you, and only you decide how to use your time.

Loneliness turned into solitude, which was no longer burdensome, but gave the opportunity to think and create a successful business. And about "true love" she decided: "Maybe I won't meet „my man“ at all. Good. So be it. I am happy now because no one but myself will give me a feeling of happiness. Once I have overcome the most obsessive human fear — loneliness, I will never agree to a „passing“ man again, just for the sake of having „someone“ around." From that day on, she began to live. To live, and not compare yourself with others.

And at some point in her happy solitude, it dawned on her that all her suffering was connected only with the hopes she had for the future, for circumstances, for the environment, for men. Previously, she often dreamed of meeting her lover, but this did not happen year after year. And she prayed, and she asked and hoped... And she suffered again. But there was no real torment. Only the dreams that did not happen, which she also came up with, "suffered" in her. It was as if she sobered up and looked at her past life as a series of stupidly wasted time.

She wanted to cry out of habit, but something in her grinned. And she laughed so loudly and merrily that a metamorphosis took place inside her — a heavy and viscous lump of "correct ideas about life" imposed on her melted.

And she made the only right decision — she stopped hoping for the future. And I said to myself: "I'm happy that my idiocy is in the past. And I'm happy that I don't have a future." And this strange "magic formulation" started working right away.

She became just a girl again, just a woman, just a person, not a businesswoman, not a mother, not a successful person... And she finally relaxed: after all, a person without hopes for the future has no fear. Not at all! And she smiled because it took so long to come to such a simple understanding of the essence of things.

And with the same relaxed smile, at the age of 47, she married a man as happy as herself. At the age of 47, she really fell in love for the first time in her life. By the way, her son is very similar to her husband. This is a miracle that cannot be explained in a human way. This is a miracle that only cosmic humor is capable of ...

On the 50th, in the circle of family and friends, she made a toast: "I do not know how to live properly. I do not know if you are good people or bad. Are you beautiful friends or not? And it doesn't matter to me at all. But I know for sure.. When I see you, I smile. When I hold hands with my husband and son, I laugh. When I look at the world, I thank him for teaching me to think, endure and wait. Thank you. Be happy with me."

A real story in which the joy of understanding the essence of things really works.

So, who's the good one here? Who's the handsome one here? Who's smart here? Or whatever it is by definition... You are for the Spirit, God, the Universe — neither one, nor the other, nor the third, etc. I guarantee you that after your death, no one will ask you what you did, what business you used to "sell" and how much you earned. You are constantly scanned through electromagnetic fields only for the states that you exchange with the System.

It's very simple: each of us, for the God System, is only a person who shares emotions and feelings. Therefore, the choice in favor of joy, love and lightness is quite obvious. This is the most beautiful state of the most beautiful person. And that's the only thing that counts... And before life. And during his lifetime. And after.

So, I ask the question again — who is happy here?.. I hope it's you.

Finding your destiny by the plan of three priorities

At the initial stage of "finding your destiny" the plan of working with yourself should be extremely simple, effective and understandable for the brain. Only in this case, the brain will not interfere with getting pleasure from the process. From any process — developing a skill, earning money, learning, etc.

5/28/2021  196 

Pain Bonuses: why do we need suffering?

People who write me messages often want to get guarantees that "everything will be fine." It is for this "good" that they need someone who is ready to share life with them "for better or for worse." Although everyone knows from the experience of personal disappointments that it can hurt again. Sometimes it is unbearable — to the point of wanting to commit suicide, sometimes — to the end of life alone. Why do you have to endure such suffering "just" because of saying goodbye to another person whom you may have known for at most a few years? Or, perhaps, they lived together for decades, but were constantly dissatisfied with each other. There are many options for living together and parting, but only the pain is similar in components.

2/3/2021  216  2

The only sin

The only "sin" that has been imposed on people is ignorance. Everything else is a fragmentation of ignorance into traumatic emotions: despondency, greed, jealousy, envy, vanity, anger, lust. There is a common expression on Earth: "The worst sin is despondency." And there is a rational explanation for this. Despondency is a lack of self—love and, as a result, rejection of others: people, opinions, teachings, theories, and worlds.

8/1/2020  290  1

Saturday, June 27, 2020 2:57 PM 

Инна, спасибо большое за статью и потрясающую мысль. Думать, терпеть и ждать. Без сожалений о возможностях и перспективах. Просто Жить. Твои статьи потрясающее. Спасибо огромное.

Tuesday, June 30, 2020 12:17 AM 

Отличная статья, Инна! Сразу узнаётся почерк Мастера.

Sunday, November 15, 2020 12:50 AM 

Инна, Спасибо тебе, очень отрезвляющая и вдохновляющая статья, как и все остальные! 

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©2020–2024 Individual Entrepreneur Inna Yurievna Ivanova, Taxpayer Identification Number (UNP) 193419490 registered by the Minsk City Executive Committee on 05/14/2020 and entered into the Trade Register of the Republic of Belarus on 10/23/2020 with the No 494817. Business address: Frolikova str., 1-35, 220037, Minsk, Republic of Belarus.