Hello, Inna.
I have started my journey. It's not as easy as it seemed. On the first day, the hand resisted writing "I hate" in practice for 40 days, I looked at the candle in the Trataka like a ram at the new gate (provided that I was good at working before with a candle). Practicing with the return of energy from the object becomes stupefied, so I began to paint hypnotic beliefs to rock myself.
There are pleasant events... As you said, the effect of the practices began to manifest itself on the physical level. I've wanted to dye my hair for a long time, but it took a lot of money, and it turned out to be a wasteful month for birthdays... And suddenly today my boyfriend gave me money to go to the salon. I didn't ask him, I started putting it off myself. Therefore, I did not expect it! Such a pleasant surprise!
Good day, Inna.
Life is beautiful, one day you want to jump from happiness, give love and live. I want to die the second day. The practitioners are working, the shit is rolling right down your throat. I want to cry, it tears me up from the inside.
From the important point: I understood why in practice I write "I hate" when it seemed like it would be possible to write "I love". The realization came from within. A rush... And there, and energy is spent there, but words I love" are always more pleasant to the brain... And it needs to be done more efficiently...
I'm a little tired of the fact that everything inside is bubbling and moving: practicing, working on myself, digging into myself, looking from the outside at my importance and ego, I'm sick of it... Envy takes over, it seems to me that everyone is doing well, they are so cool and with money, and I have everything in a circle.
The body breaks... Everything is agitated and I don't know when the improvement will begin. But I can safely assume that these are my installations of the past that do not allow me to move from my place. I asked myself the question: "Why do I need diseases?". And I understood — in order to feel sorry for myself and to be pitied... So it's easier to complain that I'm s o poor!.. It's all in me mdash; from not love and not self-acceptance. In general, a whole tangle. I'm slowly unwinding it in practice.
Thank you.
Good evening, Inna
There are 44 days of practice, and the number of people in the lists is not decreasing, but increasing!!!
The mood and condition are stormy. There's porridge in my head. Sometimes I live and I don't understand what's going on. Every day I take steps into a happy life, but there is no happiness. Happiness is in every day and movement, and I don't get to appreciate it and enjoy it. It seems to me that my brain is spinning me, and sometimes I don't have the strength, I want to give up. I'm afraid to change... And what if my loved ones turn away from me? I'm starting to get confused... I hope I won't give up!
Good afternoon, Inna.
I'm still building and going to my pain through my pain. Calmly and gradually working through people. There are no particularly pleasant events happening. Basically, it's pain, understanding, awareness and the question hovering over your head: What's next?".
The relationship is acute now. I behave like a fool sometimes. Something is pissing me off. I'm angry with myself, I'm offended. It is not pleasant from this. And it happens the other way around — everything is very pleasant. In general, a swing.
Good evening, Inna.
It's been a very busy month. Both emotionally and at work. I'm a little tired, I don't have much energy. Because of the emotional backlash. I'm still pouring a lot of energy into thinking and thinking.
I want to learn the right relationship. I don't know the roles of a girl. I don't know how to build boundaries, how not to overload myself, how not to take out the brain, how to be happy?.. Now the relationship with the guy is good. But I really want more. I want to go forward so much.
...I stopped doing practice on Saturday. Since I began to feel that I was doing it through force.
Good evening, Inna.
I'm writing again. Today I felt guilty for not doing more practice, because it's hard for me to do them. And I can't handle myself. Even the tears are rolling in, apparently I wanted to feel sorry for myself again. A lot of thoughts lately.
I feel like I've picked up everything inside, but I don't have enough time to digest everything from this and the porridge in my head. And more...
I feel like I'm about to step forward into a new self, with new thoughts and acceptance, but there's just a little something holding me back. It still covers periodically. But... I am very glad that so much pain is going away. I get closer to myself every day. And the realizations come.
Thank you very much! With your help, I have a chance to change my life and change myself. It's hard to do it all by yourself...
Good evening, Inna.
I haven't done any practice for 15 days, it was a difficult period. I was overzealous, I was making up my mind. There was a lot of work, plus family problems. Things got complicated. I had an emotional burnout. I didn't want anything. Generally. Just lie down and stare at the ceiling. I thought to start the practice with the new year, but in the end I couldn't stand it and started yesterday.
I want to express my impression of them:
- I used to think that practice was a panacea for everything, and if I do something, it will pass and never come back.
- There are people I've been working on, and they've come back, and I've hated them again. I thought it wouldn't be like that.
- My brain is spinning with me.
- I still have a lot of pain inside. And I'm stormy.
- I really wanted and waited for the result... And I didn't wait for the result. And in the end, I started to get sick of the fact that I was doing the same thing in my life... I am constantly waiting for a miracle, money, impressions, happiness... Yes, my mistake is that I think: I will do practice quickly, and love, happiness, and money will immediately come...
Good afternoon, Inna!
Life is in full swing. I'm doing practice, all sorts of shit comes out of me again, you can't say it any other way. Out of the niceties, for the first time I was given an advance without my mention. I used to always remind and get upset about it. The most interesting thing is that I forgot about the salary for the cleaner myself. I give it to her. Then I noticed it and thought: "How can they give me time if I don't do it myself?"". And she began to do it all the time and keep an eye on it. And four months later, I was given money at the time. Nice.
Good afternoon, Inna!
Inna, I feel your influence! Storms sometimes are not a joke... As you said, when the past is worked out, it always hurts. Yesterday there was a state when I didn't want anything, neither to live nor to die. There was just no way. But I overcame myself and did the practice...
An event happened today! Pleasant!.. My boss gave me a gift. Dear mdash; for 690 euros, I have never been given such a gift in my life!..
Good evening, Inna.
I saw your new Practice section. Already everything was agitated inside, I ran from one article to another, I was confused... Thanks for such a detailed description, for the structure. I saw where I had a little bit wrong in working with practitioners. With a new reading and with new realizations, I continue... Inside the butterfly. Thank you!
I have a small joint, I admired you yesterday. What you do, and how you do it. What you were like, I'm talking about looks, and what you are now. You are the universe.
...And here's what happened after the break in practice:
On the second day of practice, a cockroach ran through the kitchen. And my boyfriend and I decided: "Oh, I started doing practice and a cockroach appeared." The next day I was unexpectedly given a bonus. And a day later, my boyfriend also unexpectedly received income. This is the second time I've started doing practice, and he's getting money. He's like this: "It's not a coincidence anymore. Effective practices.
I continue to do practices, plus I added practices to my diet every day. For the first time, feelings began to play inside: "Uhhh, you, and let's play this game of Life!"