Cheating: How does an ideal partner kill love?

Now, with the fierce power of faith in their extraordinary destiny, many people dream of an ideal partner. About the unfortunate one who will come and accept. Of course, by any means. This is the main condition, because they are certainly too lazy to take action in order to accept/change themselves to begin with. What for? After all, the ideal partner is already coming from the future... There are many options here — either the gypsy guessed it, or the astrologers suggested it, or they decided so themselves after watching enough melodramas.

And why do people need an ideal partner? That's right — in order to solve those neurotic self-esteem problems that they don't want to deal with themselves. And why don't they want to? Again, excuses: a difficult fate, I can't, I'm tired, I'm too busy, I'd rather wait, because God is obliged to give everything...

And the more a person has accumulated internal psychosis, the more magical option he needs. Right on all parameters — and then — ay-I-yay! — I will refuse. And I will trust in fate again. Refuse... Wait... But the chances of meeting "your love" in this wonderful world are limited precisely by not accepting.

In the previous article Spiritual deception: how does lying to oneself lead to betrayal? we have considered the most common reason for betrayal — betrayal of one's essence. Today we will talk about a more non—obvious reason — you are being cheated on or you are cheating because you are a hostage to a formed stereotype.

It sounds strange, doesn't it? I know...

Come on, let's match!

I regret to note that the typical brain of a typical person tends to quickly get used to what has been won: it has been obtained and earned with great difficulty. Even to wealth. Even to family happiness. Once you have something or someone, it becomes the norm. Well, until they took it away. That is why your "other half", who is now walking around the house, has already lost its former value and significance for you. All the emotional confessions are made, the heat of passion has passed and you "suddenly" start looking around. And sometimes / often some inhabitants of the planet seem better to you than the person who is next to you. By the way, why?

The images of princes and princesses from their many fantasies live in the careless heads of people. These images are formed by cultural layers from the past: fairy tales, movies, books, photos, erotica, previous partners. And all these piles have tightly merged into the "ideal partner". Well, the one who will always understand all the trends of a rushing personality, having considered the hidden potential under a pile of mental problems. And what does it mean to understand in a human — selfish — view? It's right to tolerate all the antics, to justify all the stupidities. In general, to be touched under any circumstances. But...

If your ideal partner is such a cool master of mindfulness that he is able under no circumstances to feel aggression about the behavior of the chosen one, then he will not adjust to other people's psychoses. It just won't happen. So patience is out of the question. He'll give you time to think. He will point out the possibility of resolving issues and will continue to remain in his awareness. But... That's not what you want, is it? You want it to always be the way you came up with — come on, let's match it!

The other person does not want to match other people's neuroses: he has enough of his own! He is drawn to match the happiness within you.

But you are unhappy because he resists. You express your "fe" and actively demonstrate rejection...

So it's not a problem, after all: now — in the age of digital non-love — you can find a couple of dozen/ hundreds more applicants in dating apps. Try them all. What if someone turns out to be tame right away? Only immediately, so as not to sort out the thoughts and feelings of another person for a long time. If there is no suitable one, then "we" will be offended by the whole world, write a post about the injustice of the world and get a pet. Of course, he'll shit too. But you can swear at him whenever you want, and squeeze him whenever you want. A good choice!.. Cats and dogs are beautiful in all respects. They are now chosen more often than people...

Heroes of illusions are always perfect

Your real partner will never match the ideal one. You get used to a real person easily, but you can't get used to an ideal one — he's simply out of reach. In most cases, the real partner has nothing to do with your imagination and sticking in images at all. It may even look completely different from the "ideal" one. But — you have already agreed with yourself that he "temporarily brightens up your life" while you persistently continue to look for the perfect one. And on the energy plane, this is clearly visible. This means that you have already agreed to trade intimacy with the person who loves you for a relationship with an ephemeral entity that does not exist... This is a huge stupidity that leads to real physical infidelity.

Stupidity in thinking breeds stupidity in behavior. And they lead to suffering.

You are wasting the time of life and true intimacy with someone very dear. Well, who's the fool after that? That's right — look in the mirror. Look into your eyes. Are you still looking for the perfect partner?..

One day you can meet someone remotely similar to the invented image and start dreaming about it. And — in severe cases of clouded consciousness — one of you will cheat on a real loved one just because he once saw an "image", and now he has met his likeness.

In this regard, it is important to note such a well—known phenomenon as imprinting — imprinting certain information into the brain. It extends to many areas of life: the place of birth is the most touching, the food from childhood is the most delicious, the smells of home are the most soothing. Such an obsessive impression is also associated with the image of an ideal partner. The "standards of love" are most often people from the immediate environment or characters peeped at somewhere. And, of course, the first sexual partner. As the years go by, he sits in the brain. And it prevents you from living in love and harmony with another person. By the way, people who are stuck "in the first" can be monogamous. But this is not everyone's conscious loyalty. Most often, it's just information imprinted into the brain. Even physical intimacy is not required by many: a kiss or just an irrepressible fantasy is enough... At a hormonal peak.

Any image becomes ideal only at its hormonal peak. This is facilitated by adolescence or strong experiences of early childhood.

It is clear that you can substitute any options here that you have personally communicated with or watched in movies, erotic magazines, etc. Even a casually seen girl with flowing hair, even an imposing boy with a cigarette near school, even Pamela Anderson in a red swimsuit, even Brad Pete in a black tuxedo, even an anime character. At least all the porn stars — together or in turn... The porn industry provides fantasies for all tastes: after all, it is there that the goddesses of sex and passionate machos live, who are always ready to pounce and love anyone! With all the psychoses and inconsistencies.

Yes, they are all beautiful because — behind the scenes, because — they do not require effort to possess them. The heroes of illusions are always perfect. Ideal partners.

If you have a similar idea stuck in your head, then analyze the provocation of your consciousness, cherished since childhood. There... Many years ago, you came up with a fairy tale in which you are a cool hero / brave warrior and you are bored of being like everyone else. Therefore, you definitely need unearthly love with an ideal partner! And, of course, so that only you, and so that no one else has such a thing...

And now the years are passing... And now you exist in a lie, because it's such a stupid thing to live with one person and dream about another.

Take the image of your ideal partner out of your mind and burn it. Otherwise, this ideal partner will stand between you and your happiness for the rest of your life.

He's like a wall covering reality. He's like a vampire sucking out life. Through an ephemeral relationship with an ideal partner, you warm up your self-esteem, but lose time in real intimacy with a real person.

Love: perfect or real?

Of course, exalted personalities will not agree to stop waiting. They will quote poems about love, tell stories about love and remember TV series about love, where the characters believed in a dream and got a dream. They always ask me emotionally: "So, do you think that perfect love does not exist?". I answer...

There is no ideal one. There is a real one. And this is a huge difference in perception. You are right to feel it in your heart... And the partners, of course, are all different around. There are more suitable ones — energetically, psychologically, genetically — and less suitable ones.

Are you ready to take risks for maximum results?.. In your illusions, of course, you are always ready. But in reality, you need to leave the house, where someone familiar, not ideal, takes care of you. Therefore...

If you are so cool in your fantasies of perfect love, then go and live by yourself... Don't take years away from your imperfect partner. After all, without your presence, he will have a chance to meet someone who will love him. Just him. And only him. Then you won't have to change either. And you won't have to lie. You are free to choose. This is a real challenge to fate. Fate loves crazy ideas and rewards the brave.

True love is a great gift. And this gift begins with honesty. And to get it, fate must respect you.